Birds, Bees, and Foxes?
by cassowary
Summary: Yahiko's about that age when he starts asking questions.  He asks the wrong people, of course.


Yahiko wanted answers.

Yahiko needed answers.

Why were ugly girls so concerned about getting married?

Kaoru destroyed him worse than usual.

The yakuza had nothing on that girl once she got started.

Why were guys always bragging about their—he could not say the word—_you know whats_?

Kenshin blushed furiously with round blue eyes over his laundry.

"Oro?" as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

But Kenshin had been around for a while; he _had_ to know _something_.

Yahiko got an idea.

Megumi wasn't a goody-two-shoes like Kaoru was. She probably know more anyway. She _was_ a doctor after all, wasn't she?

Better yet, she saved all the beatings for Sanosuke.

Oh, and that stupid rooster head might be a useful resource, as well, though Yahiko doubted that he would actually know what he was talking about. He prolly never even _kissed_ a girl before.

But Yahiko knew where to find them both.

He skidded into one of the exam rooms in the Oguni clinic without knocking, and was not surprised to see both the vixen and the rooster.

What _did_ surprise him was the fact that Sanosuke's white jacket was hung up in a corner, bandages forgotten and ignored on the table as they stood in _very_ close proximity. Unnervingly close, in fact.

"HEY, ROOSTER!"

They jumped. Megumi giggled, unruffled, but Sanosuke closed the distance to the door in an astonishingly short time space and decked Yahiko with his untreated right hand.

"What was _that_ for, Sanosuke?" Yahiko glared up at the thug whom he had begun to regard as his big brother.

"'Chu want, kid?" he snarled.

"Hey, rooster, don't hurt him!" Megumi snapped, pulling at said person's bare shoulder.

Sanosuke grumbled, but obeyed her gestures to sit down.

"So what brings you here, Yahiko?" Megumi asked calmly.

Yahiko drew a deep breath, his face turning red, his voice trembling.

"I have something to ask you guys."

when he finished, not only the obnoxious teenager was laughing, but also the dainty doctor, orange fox ears mysteriously affixed to her head.

But at least _she_ didn't laugh until she was _crying_.

"Well, Yahiko, it goes like this," she began after she had caught her breath.

"When a man and a woman fall in love..." she elbowed Sanosuke sharply in the ribs. He shot her an angry glance.

"...and they get married—"

"—Not always!" interjected the rooster with a rather flirtatious wink.

"Shut up, you! When they get married, and they decide they want kids..."

Sanosuke was making choking motions behind her back.

Yahiko snickered.

"Women have this really cool thing called a pussy. I'm glad _I _don't have one, but...wanna _show_ him, vixen?" Sanosuke rudely interrupted again.

Megumi slapped him as hard as she could. It looked like it had to hurt.

"Okay, care to explain, Sagara? I'd no idea _you_ were some genius medical expert," she said nastily. Sanosuke just shrugged.

"Thought I'd just help out, seeing as I've had more..._experience_ in the matter."

Yahiko thought he totally deserved that second slap.

"So, Yahiko, he said with a grin, turning back to the boy and rubbing his red cheek, "as I was saying, women have this thing called a pussy. Pretty nice invention, actually. It's kind of...a receptacle for your dick."

"It's called a _vagina_ and you're a chauvinist pig," Megumi snarled, blushing.

"Yeah, so when you get turned on, you just kinda shove your stuff right up there. Different ways to do it, 'course, but it's all good if she's hot enough."

He stole a purposeful glance at Megumi, who tactfully ignored him.

Yahiko's mind was reeling. How could _Sanosuke_ know this when _he_, the Tokyo Samurai, didn't?

"You're lying. I bet you've never even _kissed_ a girl before!" he challenged.

Sanosuke raised one dark eyebrow.

"Speak for yourself, kid. High hopes for Tsubame-chan?"

Yahiko leapt on him, raging, teeth gnashing on ridiculous spiky rooster hair.

"I'll teach _you_ to insult me, Sanosuke!"

The older boy sat there calmly, but Megumi exacted Yahiko's revenge with her heavy medicine chest, knocking her former client flat.

"What are you _teaching_ Yahiko-kun, you _asshole_?"

The shouting began, and Yahiko figured the info session was done for the day and it would be a good idea to clear out. He could ask Megumi in private another day.

As he scurried away, he could hear the rattling thuds of a medicine chest striking flesh.

It would have been so much simpler if only _Kenshin_ had answered!

The dust cleared.

The clinic was trashed, Megumi sweaty, Sanosuke rather bruised.

They burst out laughing.

"So your birds and the bees talk was a failure, rooster. Want to show me you at least know the basics?"

Megumi's hands were at her obi cord and Sanosuke smirked.

"You know I suck with words, vixen. So yes, I'd be just _thrilled_ to give you a little...demonstration."


End file.
